With the name “John Carter” images of elections in the fifth district appellate court; CEO of a Dow Jones Industrial Company, even president of a local school board are conjured up, but never as a mega- muscled hero, an Adonis, championing the just on Earth and Mars.
Based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs, produced by Disney and dedicated to the memory of Steve Jobs this grossly overwrought, inflated financial endeavor (350 million dollars) is a misguided and senseless narrative; a flagrant waste of digitalization, not to reference squandering the precious commodity of time. Time better spent in a library, museum, online shopping, or vacuously gazing into space.
In fairness to “John Carter” (Taylor Kitsch is the hunk)) this is a genre that has never appealed to my (possibly limited) aesthetic. So on the plus side it is a visual, fantastical, beautiful sight to behold; a scientific, technological wonder, a feat of twenty-first century wizardry.
After fifteen minutes my brain catatonically collapsed, unnoticed behind the 3D glasses; sadly bereft of the “dozing” gene, zero emotional involvement with the characters, a predestined happy ending; I clandestinely analyzed my fellow attendees and surmised that I was a solitary representative of my age range and should have been wiser, and I should have left!